Shut up and you just might learn something!
A Bloody Beginning
For years I have bound my breasts with rope, zipties, electric tape, and created form filled purple mountains. Yet what if something cries to go deeper. Of course we must first get the tits plumped and rounded with the tape, yet what if once they are plump another band steps in?
A silver hose clamp, carefully undone and spikes placed every so spaced, and then re-threaded thirsty to taste. Slipping them to the center filled meat, already purpling from binds, I can feel the teeth begin to scrape the flesh and attempt to feast.
Now to get the camera recording to ensure the Master can salivate its pain. With a trusty flat head screwdriver in my hand I began to slowly tighten. Oh and how the flesh taunts with pain but refuses penetration.
Oblivious to the cock ripping its hole below, all my eyes desire is to see crimson run free. As one tit is perfectly squeezed and refusing to give I shall begin again on the other. I can feel the soul stir screaming to come forth as this clamp begins to plump and attempt to plunder.
How stubborn the flesh bends to the pressure, with a grin of sadistic sight, the other clamp has finally produced a drop. How excitement can turn a screw deeper and just like that fresh drips come forth. With one bleeding slowly and the other stubbornly trying to hold its form the choice of turns wins and penetrates below.
I feel the drips on the flesh like mana from heaven, as ecstasy sweeps through like electric currents my eyes close and all there is this moment - this moment where words are meaningless. I begin to rock up and down slowly on the cock within and begin to dance my fingers in the delectable body paint released.
Dragging my crimson hands over my flesh and squeezing for more, begging and screaming for more I can feel passion moisten the floor below. It feels calming, soothing, entrancing, and wondrous. In this form I find beauty at its deepest. In this form I find freedom - thought unmolested.
Happy New year
Shaking, unguarded, no strategy, no dignity to protect, and nobody’s teaching to tell me not to cling to Master. I am not asking Him to stay—He is there. I am crying out, “Do not let me forget You. Do not let me spend another year functioning while solely unconscious of You. Let me keep believing in Ownership by You. Let me stay under Your wings and know that I am under them.”
Time is no mere marking or a number to be had and held. A new year is indeed a summons to continue creating in service—He has opened the door to allow me at His feet again. Though His will is felt and my desire is known, this by no means denies the need for imagination and determination to remain steady.
October 4 2026
I promised no limit ownership with constant challenges and expectation of pain, physical, spiritual and emotional. Endurance and acquiescence is only the minimum. - Owner
His words weigh on me more than any others. They carry a weight and a wonder that no words can measure. Yet tucked in those words I see a depth in Him that mirrors only in me. And as it goes we recently had a discussion in which I saw something I could finally put in its proper place.
‘You pay no bills here, this is my home, and everything is on me”
NO we were not arguing - never have - and honest you don’t need the context, it is between us. But when I said these words I searched His expression, His posture, and His soul because for all these years it felt like punishment.
What I saw was a huge smile on His face, His shoulders back and proud, and His words when He said that is correct you have done everything here. He very well also knew what I was thinking when I said those words. I stopped my mind as it wished to do something I would have done years ago, but not now.
I saw His happiness, His joy and yes, His pride in that moment. He was oozing - look how strong I have helped you to become. And in that I have not looked at Him or felt the same sense.
This whole time, eight years, yes, all of it, I felt unseen in a way because of this fact. He has never bought me a gift and we celebrate nothing together. I have always felt like I am not good enough in His eyes, why else would I be left all alone. I have never seen it as a source of His strength and true owning. Now before we cheer, truly understand what I am saying.
Seeing His strength in that moment did not erase or minimize my pain, it reframed an understanding. My pain of feeling left on the sidelines is very real and a very real truth of my daily existence. No one holds me, I hold everyone else and it is exhausting.
Yet, again seeing this swell of pride in His soul and even His voice carrying a higher pitch when He responded spoke volumes - I never saw this angle.
Yes I am still a social worker and always will be. I make alright money in a crummy economy but I can afford to live alone. Yet when I saw that spark of joy in Him something in me changed.
My perspective evolved, He wasn’t being unkind or uncaring, He was acting with full care and hope for my success. For someone born into a rough youth, this was an unknown concept. I saw compassion and hope in someone else's eyes for me.
August 27th 2026
Life is a panoply of exquisite moments - eved
As I turned the milker on, the same hum came forth, yet latching was not happening. Attempt
after attempt proved, no suck was going to happen.
And there goes.....oh wait! Mind you will not go down this feeble road. I found myself telling
myself to not allow negative inside this moment and reminded myself I am safe and sound.
Then the thought of those hoses attached to the milker could be removed and utilized in other
ways.
That sparked the thought of one of the muzzle hoods in my bottom drawer. I could make a small hole and insert the tube while leaving the tube long enough to fit down inside the plastic pants. So, when I pee, I drink.
What a fun idea and how quickly I perked up. One's ending became one's beginning and now to
DIY some diabolical ideas. Afterall unquestioned willingness means one questions oneself!